There are only two ways to walk in the Christian life: either with God in his way or in our own way. Our own way may be the idea of another or we may make a choice for our way because of influences other than God, but it all comes down to one of two ways.
God's way is God's will and in God's will, we will find that which is good, acceptable and perfect (Romans12:1-2). However outside of God's will, we will find ourselves in a desert place: having dryness of soul, thirsting for joy, and longing for peace and contentment.
Be not quick to think that because you struggle with sin, you are out of God's will or rebellious. Rebellion occurs when we turn away, revolt or become stubborn before God. It is not an impulsive reaction to life by turning to sin. It is a stirring in the heart that decides no longer to follow God and to resist him from ruling, guiding or using us in his way for his purpose and subsequent glory.
King Saul was like that and his life demonstrated this truth. He fought God and became lean in his soul. Each step away from God led him into deeper depression, anger and greater rebellion.
Being stubborn is to resist that which we know is good for us and doing so only because of pride. Failing is not rebellion, but turning against God and determining not to fight is. No matter how difficult life may be, we will never be right to fight against God, who in love is leading us through the difficult passages of life so that we may know him, escape the pain of sin's circumstance and instead experience his joy and peace.
We must keep close to God so that seed thoughts from hurt, pain, fear and worry do not become a root of rebellion in our hearts.
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