At one point in my life, I thought that I lived a holy life, but as I grew in wisdom, I realized that my desperately wicked heart had been deceiving me. To myself I may have appeared to live righteously, but I was wrong.
Around10 years ago, my son called to speak with me as he often had done. During our conversation he stated that he came to recognized that although he was saved, he was a "wicked" person. I chuckled and said, "Yeah, I know. I raised you." He then went on to explain that for years he had focused on outward behaviors and because they were in line with righteousness, he believed that he was living righteously. He continued to explain that as of lately, he recognized much more evil sins such as pride, stubbornness, unforgiveness, and self righteousness. He too had been deceived.
It seems that for so many people as they strive to become more holy, they may in fact become the opposite. If you separate yourself enough from sin to where you believe you are then living holy enough to be blessed by the Lord, you immediately become more sinful. We never have and never will live holy enough to be blessed.
Behold, the eye of the Lord is upon them that fear him, upon them that hope in his mercy; (Psalms 33:18)
What God expects is for us to fear him and to believe that his blessings only come as a result of his mercy. This is something that each if us can do each day. There is no level of holiness to achieve, but instead a condition of the heart and this condition reflects the principles of the first or great commandment.
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