Passing the Right Baton (Psalm 145:4)

Not long ago, my son, who is in the ministry called and asked, "If you had the chance to raise your children over again, what would you do differently?"  It didn't take long for me to provide my three part response: allow my children to make mistakes and even wrong decisions just as long as it would not destroy their lives, focus on the hidden sins of the heart and not so much the external appearance and actions, and search for more opportunities to praise them striving for a 4:1 ratio of praise to negative corrective responses.

My change in child raising did not come from obtaining a different philosophy of life, but instead a better understanding of God's plan for fathers and the next generation.  One generation shall praise thy works to another, and shall declare thy mighty acts. (Psalms 145:4). My mistake as a father was placing a greater emphasis on how my children looked and acted on the outside with little focus on what was taking place in their hearts.  They, without my knowledge, could have possessed in their hearts envy, jealousy, pride and unforgiveness, but as long as they dressed and acted rightly, I thought they were okay and I was successful as a father.  However, I could not have been more wrong.

If we are to influence the next generation of believers, they need to know the true God and have a real relationship with him and not simply model an acceptable outside appearance.  Because we fail at leading young people into a relationship with God, we lose more teens than we keep.  The retention of those who transition into adulthood and live for God decreases even more so.  Jesus warned the Pharisees of this error when he spoke about cleaning the outside of the cup while ignoring the inside. (Luke 11:39)  They continued in error because of their prideful self righteousness, but we fall into the same error because of fear.  We fear what others think about our children, our parenting and our testimony for Christ.  So in our effort to deal with fear, we clean up the outside of our children and all the while ignore that which they need the most.

It is time to teach the next generation about how God meets with us, strengthens us and enables us to face and deal with troubles in life.  They need a mentor or a person to disciple them into a relationship with God.  They need to learn how to cast their cares on God and see how he supplies.  They need to see the supernatural God instead of a list of super abounding rules.  Should we continue to establish guidelines for conduct?  Of course we should, but the greater emphasis for young people should be on issues of the heart and developing a heart for God.